A wise friend or rather a wise stranger; because at the time of our encounter, he was not really my friend, he once told me. ‘You need to ditch the self-pity party’. Not until recently did I appreciate his statement, not because I did not understand him at first but because I refused to accept I was actually a victim.

You see, I lived in denial for so long and did not know about it. That actually when I snapped I regretted how much I would have accomplished if I had accepted I had a problem.

The self pity syndrome is the major or rather the worst problem facing the youth of today. The state of feeling sorry for your life, status and your background. The thought of ‘My life sucks and envying your ‘trust fund’ peers.’

This happens because you think you will not make it in life, because you do not come from a wealthy nor influential family and you are not lucky enough to have a’god father’.

I learnt that letting challenges and your background define you is the recipe for the pity party. There are so many things I wanted to accomplish in my teenage years but, I would always shy away because I feared rejection so bad.

I left my life be defined by people’s opinions. The choices I made were as a result of what would people say; and fact of the matter is people’s opinions will always vary and you cannot live your life trying to please others.

Today my friends call me boss lady because I carry myself with confidence and charisma. I learnt that focusing on my challenges and rejection    stood in my path of success. I learnt to face rejections and challenges in life with grace and purposed to move on.

In campus life is simple, one juggles between school life and social-life, what you are not taught is how to survive in the ‘real world ‘after graduation.  After ‘tarmacking’ tiredly with the brown envelopes and having no lead that is when the reality checks dawns. You get so many no’s that it starts defining you. This causes you to fall short of selling yourself to potential employers. You always look dull, miserable and desperate. You should always look and be ready. Invest in research in current affairs and in your field of expertise, read everything about it and around it.

This is your selling point, because when your potential employer asks you a question you avoid the; ‘let me get back to you on that’, answer.

Most importantly learn from your mistakes because, if you do not learn that is a step to failure. I remember my first job interview experience    as if it was yesterday because it has become one of my learning points. It started off so bad because besides shaking nervously. I forgot my interviewers’ names a few minutes after they introduced themselves. I was so ashamed I wished to die, but I accepted my mistake and that was it. They were kind enough to remind and move on. The point is I got the job regardless of my first bad impression; I accepted my mistake, apologized and never made a big deal out of it.

Always show your potential employer your thirst for knowledge. Never act ‘cocky’ the ‘know it all syndrome’. Be patient as results are not achieved overnight, but over course of time.

The stranger, who has turned to be my career mentor and personal friend, was actually a senior expert in my line of duty who I met after my bold move to approach him for advice and career tips. I took my chances with him and it has paid out and has turned out to be the best move I have made towards my success.

Always take your chances in life, they may only present once.